With Thanksgiving around the corner I’ve been thinking quite extensively about gratitude. This Thanksgiving is extra special because I’m getting married to my superhero love the day before the big family holiday that officially kicks off the holiday season in the U.S.
I’m excited and my heart is filled with so much gratitude for finding my special love. And, I’m a bit anxious. I’ve lived solo for the past 6 years of my life and I have become accustomed to figuring it all out on my own.
Yet, I deeply understand that living on this beautiful planet is not about figuring it out all on our own. Our life journey is a constant evolution of seeking love and connection.
Regardless of this deep truth, we can still find ourselves lost in the prison of our mind holding fast to an untruth that we have to do it alone. So, I have my space, my time, and my own way of doing things. It wasn’t always so. I come from a prior marriage that ended in a tumultuous dissolution and two years ago my former spouse and father to my son suddenly and unexpectedly died in a tragic accident.
From that experience, I have travelled in the deep, dark recesses of my soul and have come out on the other side discovering an abundance of awesomesauce sparkles on the inside. I was so scared 6 years ago to choose my life over trying to keep something working that wasn’t working.
That decision was big. Really big. And, I didn’t do it alone. I had plenty of amazing people in my life that encouraged and supported my decision along the way. It was a messy process of letting that untruth go, step by step.
During this “untruthing” journey, I have deeply missed sharing love, sharing a life vision, and creating life with an intimate partner that is deeply committed to living authentically, freely and powerfully in collaborative transformation together.
Not everyone’s soul is ready for this and many times we come together prematurely only to learn just enough so that we may be prepared to step into our most authentic and powerful self. Pantajali talks of this process in the Yoga Sutras, particularly in Book Two – Sadhana Pada (Portion of Process), in Sutra 12. He states, “The womb of karmas (actions and reactions) has its roots in these obstacles, and the karmas bring experiences in the seen (present) or in the unseen (future) births.”
Pantajali’s point about the womb of karmas is that we can take our agami karma, new karmas being created during this birth, the ones we can choose and create for ourselves, and point the arrow of our life in the direction of self-realization. In regular speak that means we can keep letting life happen to us or take stand for something and create the life we truly desire.
This sacred ceremony marks not only a big transition in my life, but the next big chapter.
We all have life stories that we are living out. Some of us live through life without any direction, some of us get lost and lose our purpose, and still others live life with power and purpose, and at anytime on the life spectrum we can be at one or all of those points on the spectrum. I decided many years ago that I was tired of living out my life in a story that I didn’t create, but somehow accepted to live it out along the way without inquiry, without question, and without discernment.
So I began creating my own epic love story. I learned to fall in love with myself, my work, and my life in a way I never thought was possible. It’s been an amazing journey through the desert in my soul. It almost feels like the necessary rite of passage before my big magical day.
At the beginning of this year, I felt deeply that it was time to move to the next big chapter in my life – the chapter where I create my superhero love union and family. I was very intentional about meeting my superhero love and I had my agami karma arrow pulled back in the bow, aiming forward.
The way my partner and I met was one of the most magical experiences I’ve ever experienced in my life. Not only did he have me when he stated that he loved the desert and the mountains, but the universe had so many unexplainable synchronicities that when we finally met in person (as our original meeting was not in person), every cell in my body was electrified and there was a heart attunement that was harmonious, loving, and peaceful. It was love at first sight. I went home after our first meeting and told the girls in my life, “I met the man I’m going to marry.”
However, for you to fully understand the story, before I ever met my superhero love I was in the desert running an ultra run in the mountains. As my friend and I got our tea and breakfast one morning in the Ghost Town of Terlingua before the big race day, I noticed a beautiful old church that sat atop the hill overlooking the mountains. I walked into the church and without any hesitation stated that I was going to get married in that church.
And, as the winds of change send love songs to us in the midst of living our life within the familiar, the vaguely familiar hits our heart in a way that no words or reason can explain, I am getting married to my superhero love in that church at sunset the day before the Thanksgiving.
Upon meeting, my superhero love said, “I’ve been waiting my whole life for you.” I had been aiming my arrow towards the vaguely familiar with a deep commitment to authentic, powerful, and transformative living. I replied, “It’s good to be home.”
As we prepare to leave for our magical adventure, I am thinking deeply about the words from the philosopher, Kahlil Gibran. He speaks of marriage and this is one of my favorite passages:
Love one another, but make not a bond of love:
Let it rather be a moving sea between the shores of your souls.
Fill each other’s cup, but drink not from one cup.
Give one another your bread, but eat not from the same loaf
Sing and dance together and be joyous, but let each one of you be alone,
Even as the strings of a lute are alone though they quiver with the same music.
May we all love authentically, powerfully, and freely in collaborative transformation together and take up our life’s arrow pointing it continually forward to create our own epic love story in each breath along the way.
Om Shanti Om ~ Athea