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The Vegan Chicken


Brocc-o-chick sat high on her nesting grounds. She indulged in the seeds that made her body feel good. Spring had sprung and she was out on her morning walk when she noticed the Chick-o-lini growing rather quickly (a plant reminiscent of broccolini, but with a mystical vegan chick flare). He was the most luscious green she had seen in quite some time. “The crown of life”, she whispered to herself as she walked by. Continuing on her mindful walk around the pen, her heart was set ablaze, “I’m ready to start a chick-o-lution!” So off she went back to her nesting grounds to contemplate the luscious green crown of life.

Brocc-o-chick was highly curious and attracted to this mystical green crown of life called Chick-o-lini. Maybe green was her favorite color, but I seriously doubt that was it. One not of this form, but in the most disturbingly, uncanny way, of this form.

She opened her eyes from this nesting meditation. She was laying ideas, not eggs peeps! And, off she went, pecking humbly her ideas regarding the proper order of the universe. Brocc-o-chick was stunned yet again at chick-o-lini’s mystical flowering as she pecked with honor walking by this mystical force.

“Such pure, serene, and whole beauty”, she thought. All the angels in veggie heaven were harmonizing right in her heartstrings. She had been plucked and thank chickens not for the human chopper. Brocc-o-chick had been plucked like a harp player sitting hillside drinking the finest mead on a sunny afternoon and dancing her fingers across the chords that connect us to the pitter patter of the shooting starts excitement and hope of magnificent beauty.

Just as those harmonious chords invoked the mystical forces in her heart space, Chick-n-flip, her alter ego cousin chirped right in on her green machine moment, “Chick-o-lini is so lush and green because of the earthworms.” This comment snapped Brocc-o-chick into a stunning trance of disbelief. Her love of purity and innocence in the green crown came crushing down on a reality that never really existed in the first place, accept in her own mind.

Brocc-o-chick breathed her deep chirp in melodious tunes, firmly, but covetously telling Chick-n-flip that he could be with her or against her. “I’m ready to start this chick-o-lution now!” she expressed with zeal, bordering on rage as if her feathers had been ruffled in the wrong direction. Chick-n-flip really did owe Brocc-o-chick for all the flip, bait, and switch cunnings he entertained her with over the years. So this time, he listened carefully attuning himself to the next opportunity to flip, bait, and switch incognito for future reference and fun, noting with cunning eyebrows and sharp beady eyes, “Tell me the plan. I’m in.”

“We slowly eliminate the earthworms from the Chick-o-hash’s and Demon-o-kens diets and replace them with the super foods of alfalfa, comfrey, and duckweed. We will be so keen in this regard, they won’t even know what they are missing.” Brocc-o-chick slyly and indignantly told Chick-n-flip. Chick-n-flip paused, pointing his bizarre positioned beak at her saying, “Isn’t this impure?” Beckoning even further in his beak fest gestures, “This is heresy, brown, pitiful, piled high of the most sparkly intentional shit!” Rhapsodizing even further in his calm cunnings, he whispered almost like a spiritual mantra uttered a sacred moments, “I love it!”, and Chick-n-flip wagged his tail in geometric shaped patterns chirping the latest disco craze and beating his feat to an electric sharp, but wrinkled slide dance move of sorts.

Brocc-o-chick and Chick-n-flip got busy planning the great diet demolition exchange. So, then, the work started of slowly removing the earthworms from the Chick-o-hash’s and Demon-o-ken’s diet and steadily they replaced it with the grand and golden super foods. In the meantime, the grand, green crown of life slowly began to lose a bit of its luster. Even Brocc-o-chick noticed in one of her routine mindful eating nesting moments, “This bite was a little less sweet, quite bitter in fact.”

As the days went on, so did the bitterness. There was a small detail that Brocc-o-chick was blindsided by and Chick-n-flip failed to mention because he wanted to see Brocc-o-chick get her feathers a little dirty. The green crown of life, the wonderful veghead of all veggies, alive and growing, grew abundantly, purely, vibrantly, and innocently in earth worm shit! Nope, the growth didn’t happen from the earthworms directly, but because the Chick-o-hashes and Demon-o-kens ate the earthworms by the pounds, the human chop blockers used their waste to fertilize the green crown of life.

“I was dedicated to the seeds, to the plants, to the wholeness, to the preservation of life”, Brocc-o-chick righteously proclaimed. She then snippily continued, “It was through that purity that I found enlightenment, tranquility, and the spiritual eggs of life, the golden egg in fact!” She massaged her beak in the dirt, a way that she learned to get grounded and calm.

As it turns out, the green crown of life was still golden. Chick-n-flip noticed the fertilizer came back, which pruned the puniness right out of its existence. Brocc-o-chick’s enlightenment emerged from a pile of processed, and there’s no easy way to put this, earthworm shit! In the process, she was so caught up in self-righteous duality, that anything in-between or two opposing forces harmonizing was anathema to the reality she had so unconsciously, but studiously constructed as she zenned out on her nesting pedestal.

“Well,” she thought, “I guess that’s ok that others eat what’s right and good for them, as long as we keep our internal and external systems in balance.” Brocc-o-chick continued with her newfound inspiration, “The golden crown of life is a beautiful mixed tapestry of golden eggs and shit, but not just any shit, Holy Shit, and I still choose to eat my seeds and my luscious Chick-o-lini even though I’m getting a byproduct of the enlightened golden pooh.” This zen of nesting was helping her quite generously through this recent reality check break down.

“I’m feeling a bit high on life”, she excitedly told Chick-n-flip over dinner. This is how the vegan chicken does business. Chick-n-flip snickered thinking about the earth worms he grinded up and slipped into Brocc-o-chick’s fresh seeds. “Shit happens”, he smiled and then whispered to Brocc-o-chick, “The magic is in the mud.”

Broco-o-chick sat nesting, zenned out atop of her pedestal contemplating the magic mud and decided to put a sign atop her pedestal, “The Vegan Chicken Stops Here!”

Om Shanti Om ~ Athea


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  • Bev April 23, 2016, 1:02 am

    What a fun piece to read! Sort of seems like a children’s story and it could be, but it has a great underlying messege. My take on it (and I dont know if this was your message or not) is that life and all that glitters is not gold sometimes. And we assume many things, and we sometimes are dissillusioned, but when you look deeper life is indeed gold in all it’s fullness, and in the good and not so good; It is what life is. So what is my attitude to be? And people will try to sometimes manipulate or sabotage but in the end it all works out….It’s up to my perspective to find the pony in the shit. And it also helps to have a sense of humor! LY